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You don’t need to read this post

Really. You don’t.

“Don’t miss the sunset! 9:28 PM”

So said my weather app the other day, and I spiraled into a cynical frenzy.

Here’s the thing, damn it. I am so busy. I can’t add the sunset on top of it all.

And actually, I can, and the sunset would be maybe the best thing to add on top of it all.

But weather app. Why are you trying to sell me on the sunset? When did this become a thing?

More. Why the hell are you preying on my Fear Of Missing Out to convince me to watch the sunset.

I think . . . I just think . . . it may have something to do with the fact that if I feel like I’m missing something if I don’t stay in touch daily with my weather app, then I may click on it more, and it may make more money.

And this is how we all got burnt out.

“This ‘Face-Lift In a Bottle’ Sold Out At Target” (on Yahoo! News).

“William and Kate Party on With 1,700 Guests at Royal Wedding of the Year” (MSN).

“Biden falls at graduation, but gets back up and finishes ceremony” (MSN).

“Belgian town organizes seagull imitation championship” (Reuters). Okay, no that one can stay.

Once upon a time, you missed almost everything that happened in the world. And you were probably a lot mentally healthier and less exhausted for it. There were disadvantages to this arrangement–like lots of powerful people could do lots of bad things all around the world and nobody would know or care. Now at least we know and care for a few days.

And most of the great things you need to do or get or try or know right now, you’d never do or get or try or know, and gosh life was a lot happier.

But now absolutely everything is at your fingertips, screaming at you when your alarm goes off and your groggy hands reach for your phone. You need it all! And it’s exhausting.

Everything is too good to miss, too funny to miss, too life-changing to miss, too good a deal to miss, too shocking to miss.

And every single 24 hour day, you fail at keeping up with it all. And that’s bad. You’re bad. You could be better. If only you clicked this, bought that, tried this, knew that.

But it’s just not possible.

A thousand “You can’t miss this” things are fighting over your exhausted attention every day, and every day, they win and you lose.

You will never have it all, know it all, see it all, understand it all, care about it all, try it all, or keep up with it all.

It’s really going to be okay if you don’t know about that Face-Lift in a Bottle that sold out at Target.

And it’s really okay if you miss the sunset tonight.

Although come to think of it, it still would have been there had the weather app not made you feel Shouldy about it.

I usually put a subscribe button down here. Not today. You literally are going to be fine if you miss what I write. Wishing you peace and intrinsic enoughness. <3

Is the world a dangerous place?

Woman Smiles and Waves at Stranger

Hard-Working Cashier Promoted to Management

Local Man Reports He Still Has Wonderful Relationship with His Family

Single Mother Laid Off but Is Doing Fine with the Assistance of Unemployment and other Support

Nobody Was Murdered In City Today

Group of Friends Really Enjoy Laughing Together Every Week on Game Night

These are a few headlines we will never read.

Because . . . why would anyone care? Right?

Except, now we have a problem. . . .

“Bad news travels at the speed of light; good news travels like molasses.”
Tracy Morgan

How many minutes a day do you scroll “news”-feeds?

How many headlines do you see in those ~~minutes~~ hours?

If you had to guess, in all those daily headlines, what is the ratio of terrible news to amazing news?

Or how about the ratio of terrible stories to everything’s-just-fine stories?

In this quick-look-for-all-the-dangers-NOW world (which, yes, may have helped us survive as a species), we don’t really hear about how frequently life goes well, things work out fine, and days go by peacefully.

We hear the bad stuff.

All. The. Time.

So much that we might start to believe that the bad stuff is all the world’s made up of.

What have you internalized, from the daily intake of “oh-no” stories, about how safe the world is or isn’t?

And what could help remind you daily that reality may actually look very different?

That maybe things will be okay . . .

Sit with the bad, then chase the good

Okay, I’m not going to pretend like this pandemic is a fun time, or “good.” It is awful.

I have learned something about fear and sadness–not a new thing, psychologists have said it for years and years and years: Sit with it. Accept that shitty stuff is real. Acknowledge how hard it is. Feel the feelings.

That’s not something we’re the best at, most of us. Distraction and escape are easier when bad stuff happens. But what will happen if you just . . . let it be bad?

And then ALSO . . .

Chase the good! Find the positives. Embrace the opportunity.

While the world largely closes down for a while, everyone hunkered down at home, what small gift is wrapped up in this weirdness for you? Is there actually a very BIG gift?

You’ve recently said something like “I feel stuck” or “I don’t have time” or “I wish I could” or “I’m too busy”–haven’t you?

For most of us, our stuck/busy lives just got turned upside down. There is a lot of fear and loss to sit with. But ALSO . . . you got your opportunity: . . .

. . . Your opportunity to reset. To reflect. To reevaluate. To slow down. To speak up. To calm down. To reconnect with your life person. To check in on your friends. To meet new people. To HELP in big ways. To break habits you don’t want anymore. To meditate. To journal. To exercise. To write. To read. To plan. To dream. To grow. To heal. . . .

. . . to change!

Sit with the bad, then chase the good.

What GOOD thing could this crisis hold for you?

P. S. I’ll start. For me, this has been an opportunity to slow down from what was quickly becoming a mentally breakneck pace in my daily life. And as I’ve slowed down, I’ve found energy and peace. And as I’ve watched a bunch of real people suddenly get very vulnerable while dealing with a scary and chaotic time, I’ve found a little more courage to live and love a little more openly . . . as big as finally sharing some piano and song with the world–a dream of mine–because people can use a little happy and I could do with a little showing off . . . or as simple as checking in a little more with friends. Slowing down, loving more.

What about you? What’s your “good?”