Hang in there.

If you’re depressed and you stay depressed, you’ll look back at the end of your life and have good memories and bad memories.

If you’re broke and you stay broke, you’ll look back at the end of your life and have good memories and bad memories.

If you’re lonely and you stay lonely, you’ll look back at the end of your life and have good memories and bad memories.

If you’re socially awkward and you stay socially awkward, you’ll look back at the end of your life and have good memories and bad memories.

If you’re anxious and you stay anxious, you’ll look back at the end of your life and have good memories and bad memories.

If you’re human, life will be happy and sad. Good and bad. Peaceful and stressful. Exciting and boring.

So if you’ve been feeling low on hope, hang in there. Sure, aim for more of the good and less of the bad. I don’t mean to belittle the struggle. But remember there are good moments, too. I’m sorry there is going to be lots of hard stuff. That feels very bad. Remember, too, that your life is just as beautiful and important and just as much to be treasured as any other.

Your struggle won’t keep you from having the good memories when you’re old and grey. Maybe it’ll even give you an appreciation for the good that others don’t have. And your good memories will matter just as much as everyone else’s, they’ll be just as valid, just as happy. And they’ll be yours. So find the beauty when you can. Make the memories when you can. And when you can’t, hang in there. I promise life is holding some good memories for you.

~

P.S. You are not alone! So while you’re hanging on through bad days, reach out your hand. And if you ever find your hands slipping, say something! We’re all in this together!

~

Glenn Pickering - people connect at the level of their struggles

Canadian Rockies Adventure

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Hello again! It’s been a while! I was away on an adventure and now I get to share it with you, which is almost like getting to relive it again! :)

My wife and I drove from Minnesota (home) up to the Canadian Rockies in Alberta and stopped through Glacier National Park in Montana on the way home.

Road trips are our favorite, and it was an exciting one! We had a week and a half of hiking on the agenda. Life had a different adventure in store, and we spent the first several days visiting the emergency room and recovering due to an infection that randomly turned up in my wife’s wrist. It was a little scary, and it meant we had to throw our whole schedule out the window. But it also meant we got to relax more on our vacation than planned, so–silver lining. ;)

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It also meant we had time to explore the hip little town of Canmore, Alberta (with all its extroverted little bunnies). Great place to book your lodging if you’re visiting Banff and its neighboring mountain ranges!

Bunnies were just one of the adorable species we spied on our adventure.

When we finally did make it out for some mountainous adventures, it was EPIC.

Here are some highlights for you. Enjoy the views, and I hope you’ll drag yourself on ridiculously extravagant and exhausting and make-it-up-as-you-go-along adventures! There’s a whole big world to explore out there. :)

KANANASKIS, ALBERTA

Highway 40 down through the Kananaskis mountain range south of Canmore was our first easy excursion after a recovery day off.

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Mostly just drove the Kananaskis–the views couldn’t have been much better. We stopped halfway down south for a little scenic walk in the Kananskis village. And we stopped several more times to wait for crowds of moulting bighorn sheep chilling on the highway. And they just couldn’t be bothered. They had no time for all the traffic. Didn’t even notice us. Until we finally made it past, when without fail they’d suddenly whip their heads up and glare at us as we drove away as if they couldn’t have been more just disgusted with us. They were legit hilarious.

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Watching storm clouds roll in at a surprising speed.

BOW LAKE, BANFF NATIONAL PARK, ALBERTA

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Bow Lake was our first stop in Banff, just off the Icefields Parkway, north of Lake Louise. That day we drove in and out of sunshine, rain, clouds, and even snow. Amazing how quickly and dramatically the weather changes in the mountains.

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Haunting.

PEYTO LAKE, BANFF NATIONAL PARK, ALBERTA

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The iconic Peyto Lake is a little ways north of Bow Lake and was our second stop.

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Our first attempted hike was down steep switchbacks from the Peyto overlook to a flat rock surface by the water’s edge. We turned back halfway down to be responsible and not overdo it with Alyssa’s recovery. Good call, but what a spot to miss!

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My favorite little adventurer :)

LAKE LOUISE, BANFF NATIONAL PARK, CANADA

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SENTINEL PASS, BANFF NATIONAL PARK, ALBERTA

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Our first big hike was about 5.5 miles up to Sentinel Pass from the trailhead at Lake Moraine. This was just incredible. 360° views of the grandest looking mountains.

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Up in the alpine tundra–snowy hiking with icy lakes and the occasional nervous marmot.

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Sometime when we’re not recovering from a medical scare, we’ll hike the rest of the way up the switchbacks and snowy rock scramble to that final peak on the right.

MORAINE LAKE, BANFF NATIONAL PARK, ALBERTA

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The shocking turquoise blue of the glacier-fed-lakes in the northern Rockies is one of the most breathtaking sights in the world, I think.

TENT RIDGE HORSESHOE HIKE, PETER LOUGHEED PROVINCIAL PARK, ALBERTA

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Tent Ridge Horseshoe–our most challenging hike, finally feeling better enough for a pack and some serious uphill. Still a bit of a stretch for a recovering hiking warrior.

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After the first mile or so we came to a clear valley in the middle of a horseshoe-shaped mountain ridge. This shot was just after crossing a deep snow-packed area with downed pine trees where an avalanche had crossed the trail.

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So this rock scramble was possibly the most intense we’ve done yet. Half a mile of steep (and sometimes wobbly) rocks to pick your way through. Not for the faint of heart. But also there’s only one way to become not-faint-at-heart–come try!

After we reached the first peak we turned to the right and hiked down and back up a saddle to the highest point of the hike.

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Tent Ridge to the right, Mount Indefatigable and The Fist to the left.

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From the highest peak with views of Mount Indefatigable and other nearby snowy peaks, we turned right for the long Tent Ridge walk/scramble. The initial descent may have been the most nerve-wracking part of the hike. And the wind gusts. Oh man.

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Breathtaking.

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GLACIER NATIONAL PARK, MONTANA

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On our way back from Canada we spent a day hiking in Glacier National Park, Montana. I remembered why quiet woods and rushing water is so magical to me. Good to sit and breathe it all in.

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Views from Going-to-the-Sun Road. Recently opened for the season, cleared of snow. Our day in Glacier was so overcast and rainy that we could hardly see a thing–except the couple hours we spent on the Going-to-the-Sun Road and up at Logan’s Pass. The clouds parted and we got sunshine and mind-bending views. Thank you!!

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Logan’s Pass

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P.S. Hey friends–Nature is magical and healing and inspiring, and is open to everyone. Get outdoors! :)

P.P.S. See you soon, mountains!

P.P.P.S. Thank you, Altra Running, for making hiking comfy! And thank you All Trails for great maps to follow by GPS!

Sadness Doesn’t Always Need a Solution

I crossed paths with a coyote a couple nights back. It was awesome! Bear with me while I take you through a weird train of thought I had. It trotted across a dark road and down the hill into a neighborhood. As I kept walking, I heard nearby dogs start barking loudly. I could see one of the dogs chained in its yard in the glow of a porch light. How sad would it be if the coyote attacked one of the barking dogs! It’s not unheard of in our area. What if I had a puppy that were killed by a coyote? What would I do about it? I’m sure I’d be sad and angry. I’d blame myself for leaving my dog unattended. I’d blame the city for not fixing its coyote problem. We live right next to a couple big nature and wildlife preserves and there are no fences keeping the coyotes in the preserve. Maybe I’d start a petition to put up some kind of protective fence along the preserve’s border. But–and here’s where it gets tricky–I probably have a neighbor who loves living here because of the closeness to nature and loves to see deer scamper through their yard. Lots of people would hate to have the preserve fenced off. And lots of people would not like the idea of forcing the wildlife to stay inside the preserve, thinking that’s cruel, unnecessary, unfair…

That was all hypothetical (though if someone were taking a vote I’d say no fence). What’s not hypothetical is that we tend to react to tragedies and sad events by looking for someone or something to blame and by trying to change something so that the event couldn’t happen again.

And what I wondered the other night is: Why do we do that?

And does it even help?

Is every sad thing a bad thing that should not have happened and that we should retaliate against and prevent ever happening again at all costs?

If someone you love falls from a cliff, should you stop hiking up beautiful mountains?

 

I think some of the things we do to try to stop any sad things from happening have their own sad effects in ways we don’t realize. Life isn’t all meant to be totally safe and free of bumps and bruises. Fearfully cowering in our homes means we miss out on a lot of happiness. Trying to get everyone to join us isn’t fair. Trying to organize the planet into safe boxes isn’t happy or beautiful. We can’t make life “perfect” and I think our striving to do so robs us of peace and love.

So when something very sad happens, before you “do something about it,” stop and think: Would it actually help? Or am I just making life more complicated and the world more bland for others? Think of all the frustrating and paralyzing rules and regulations that get made because one time something sad happened to someone.

 

And I think when we have to find someone to blame sad things on, we end up lonely and scared of the very people that could be there to hold our hands through our sadness. Sometimes a tragedy turns us angry and bitter against people who are close to us, or people that we wish could have somehow stopped the tragedy happening. So we call people evil and ugly and we become lonely and scared–and so we spread our loneliness and fear.

 

Sometimes we tell ourselves stories to lay blame elsewhere so that we can feel like the sad things happening is wrong, like it’s not a fair part of life, so it’s right for us to be angry: Like that all sad things are punishment for the world’s “sinfulness” and if only all those people weren’t the way they were… or that there’s an evil force who’s specifically targeting us for being so good–trying to trip us up. That can give us a boost of self-righteousness and courage to “overcome.” But it can also turn us against the rest of the world and it can catch us in a vicious cycle of obsessing over whether we’re good enough–when what we really needed was just a good cry.

 

And maybe when someone tells us they’re sad, they don’t need us to fix it.

 

Maybe sometimes we just need to feel the sad without having to blame anyone or do anything about it. The more time we spend in the initial stages of grief, lashing out in anger, trying to explain it away, insisting it shouldn’t and couldn’t have happened–the more we are hurt and broken and the more we hurt and break the world around us.

Maybe the fact that you’re sad doesn’t mean someone’s wronged you, or you’re living the wrong life, or you have the wrong people by your side, or the world is out to get you.

Maybe sad is a part of life we shouldn’t fight against.

“Even a happy life cannot be without a measure of darkness, and the word happy would lose its meaning if it were not balanced by sadness. It is far better to take things as they come along with patience and equanimity.” – Carl Jung

Don’t bring about more sadness by your reaction to your own sadness. Just shed some tears and let life be beautiful.

 

sadness - carl jung

 

Happy New Year!

Hi friends! This New Year I want to share one of the most helpful things I’ve learned this year–a piece of advice given to me by a very special person in my life:

Don’t solve all your anxious feelings. You can’t. Be okay with them.

There have been some really rough times for me this year. A lot of old hurts and fears that have come back to my attention with a vengeance. That person also told me: Humans are fearful and all it takes is one awful experience for us to “learn” something.

We’ve all shed enough tears to leave us with scars that will always feel a little sensitive to the touch. Life is full of ups and downs. During the downs the world around us is still beautiful. And sometimes it helps to just look at that beauty even when we have anxious feelings we can’t solve. It’s okay that we are also weak.

 

This new year I encourage you to be yourself, accept yourself, love yourself, and be true to yourself. Hold yourself gently and compassionately and with understanding. Let other people treasure you, too. And look at beauty.

 

Don’t grow all the way up. Be a kid.

“Children remind us to treasure the smallest of gifts, even in the most difficult of times.” – Allen Klein, author of Secrets Kids Know…That Adults Oughta Learn

If you need help finding some beauty and imagination and need some help feeling like a kid again, look up Neil Gaiman. He’s been my favorite author this year. His worlds full of simple inspiration and childlike imagination are a good place to work on not being too grown up.

Thanksgiving 2018: Celebrating a Year Full of Adventure

I think this last year has been the oddest of my life. It has been one of the best and felt at times like one of the worst. The low times included getting another concussion the week before my wife and I moved and I restarted school, holding my wife’s hand as she walked through sad personal stuff, uncovering a lot of deeply rooted issues of my own to work on (thanks in part to my concussion) and losing some of the most meaningful parts of my life during a long (ongoing) recovery–like running, working out, and playing sports.

But along the way I’ve learned so much, experienced so much, and come to so appreciate trust and safety, the fragility of the human heart, and the beauty of love, truly supportive friendships, and healing.

And looking back at the end of the year, the sad times are all but lost in the exciting and blissful memories of the adventures and inspiration this year has given me.

So happy Thanksgiving season 2018! Thanks for the adventures!

Some of the year’s happiest memories: Exploring the Smokies, Big Bend, Glacier, and the Rocky Mountains; Running my first official half marathon, rejoining Toastmasters, marathoning all the Marvel movies with my best buddy Lyssi, moving into and decorating a new place with said buddy, discovering the story-telling of Neil Gaiman, officiating the wedding of two of my favorite people (one of the most meaningful experiences in my life), and buying an awesome new Yamaha digital piano and playing it for hours and hours and hours.

Peter Smokies
Appalachian Trail near Newfound Gap, Great Smoky Mountains National Park, November 26, 2017
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Charlies Bunion, Great Smoky Mountains National Park, November 26, 2017
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Alum Cave Trail, Great Smoky Mountains National Park, November 27, 2017
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First steps on our 17 mile hike, Chisos Mountains, Big Bend National Park, February 26, 2018
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Casa Grande and the Pinnacles, Big Bend National Park, February 26, 2018
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View of Lost Mine Peak, Big Bend National Park, February 26, 2018
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Emory Peak, elevation 7825 ft, Big Bend National Park, February 26, 2018
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Panoramic of South Rim, Chisos Mountains, Big Bend National Park, February 26, 2018
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Panoramic of Santa Elena Canyon, Rio Grande River, Big Bend National Park, February 27, 2018
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Playing in the snow during winter’s last big snowfall, Louisville Swamp Area, April 3, 2018
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Apgar Lookout trail, Glacier National Park, June 13, 2018
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Lake McDonald, Glacier National Park, June 13, 2018
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Two Medicine Lake, Glacier National Park, June 14, 2018
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Grinnell Glacier, Many Glaciers, Glacier National Park, June 15, 2018
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Glacier Half Marathon finishers, East Glacier Park, Montana, June 16, 2018
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First steps in the Rockies, Bear Lake Trailhead, Rocky Mountain National Park, August 16, 2018
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Nymph Lake, Rocky Mountain National Park, August 16, 2018
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Peaceful snooze, Lake Haiyaha, Rocky Mountain National Park, August 16, 2018
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South Saint Vrain Creek and Canyon, Roosevelt National Forest, August 17, 2018
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Elevation 14,265 ft, scariest drive and highest point yet, Mount Evans, Colorado, August 17, 2018
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Peak 12,150, Rocky Mountain National Park, August 18, 2018
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Majestic alpine terrain near Peak 12,150, Rocky Mountain National Park, August 18, 2018
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Incredible view from near the top of the highest paved through-road in the states, Rocky Mountain National Park, August 18, 2018