What we got wrong about love
I don’t remember what game we were playing, or what this little boy was having a tough time with, but I remember like it was yesterday watching his father get more and more frustrated, eventually losing his temper and snapping at his sweet little boy. They were on a team and they were losing and…
But is it REALLY okay?
#makeitok is a hashtag for those of us who want to end the stigma around mental illness. For those of us who want talking about and attending to mental health to be a normal, accepted, an “ok” part of life. In the last few years I’ve been really impressed by the differences in the shapes…
Love, adventure, grief, and Willoughby
Shortly before he died, we said the name “Lincoln” again, not sure why. Willoughby’s head turned quickly. That’s my name. That was my name. Why did you say my old name? I don’t know what memories flooded Willoughby’s mind in that moment. Just that his head cocked differently. Maybe it brought him back one last…
“Will I ever get better?” can be a dangerous question
Will I be ever be able to get over my anxiety? Will the back pain ever go away? Will I beat this addiction once and for all? Will not having a family ever stop hurting? Will I ever get past this struggle? Will I ever recover? Will I ever be healed? I think when we…
Letting the waves do their thing
Think back. Remember vulnerable-you. At your weakest, your most drained, your most crushed. What did it? “Trauma” is a universal experience. Your life may not have been dominated by it, but you’ve had your days. Younger me found refuge in my bedroom closet. I’d spend hours in there. It felt a little safer. Have you…
If I could send a message to 18-year-old me
Do you ever imagine what you’d say to younger-you if you had the chance? Life is really wonderful and beautiful and full of magic and excitement and love. But life is also weird for each one of us, sometimes a really tough kind of weird. The kind of weird that can make you feel lonely…
You may be the lighthouse they need
Have you seen Big Hero 6? If not, spoiler alert: So . . . Disney knows how to give us feelings. Oh man. To kick off the movie, the big brother runs into the burning building because he thinks someone is trapped inside it. And in a sudden explosion, he dies. Because that’s what happens…
Authentic, but like right now
I always armed the alarm system at night. If someone beat me to it, I’d find some need to go grab something from the garage or step outside so that I could re-arm it when I came back in. Arming it took a minute, because we had to bypass a few upstairs bedroom windows so…
Can you love humans AND cut people off?
How do you feel about these two “truths?” Deep down, everyone is just human, with their insecurities and feelings, needing love and, as a human, no matter how broken, worthy of love.Some people are toxic, narcissistic, cruel, and unloving, and permanently ending your relationship with them is the healthiest choice. I bet most of us…
In your closest relationships, is the real you even there?
Driving home the other day, something struck me while I was listening to Nora McInerny’s (amazing) podcast (that you should listen to) Terrible, Thanks For Asking. In an episode called Don’t You Want Somebody to Take Care of You?, a woman named Gina recalled growing up with a depressed mother. Each morning her mom would…
Sad People
“Eeyore, the old grey Donkey, stood by the side of the stream, and looked at himself in the water.’Pathetic,’ he said. ‘That’s what it is. Pathetic.’He turned and walked slowly down the stream for twenty yards, splashed across it, and walked slowly back on the other side. Then he looked at himself in the water…
Your imperfect help
It’s like seeing the Grand Canyon for the first time. You look over the edge, and it goes . . . down . . . and down . . . and it just keeps going. You try to follow it across to the other side, and there is just too much. It’s . . .…
Death
To my friend Peter F.You’re one of the tenderest souls the world has known.Be at peace.~ Death is yucky. It’s been on my mind this year. A lot. One of my first, best work-buddies died suddenly the other day. His name was Peter, too, and we used to set up a cup across the room…
Baby steps and struggly downward dogs
“If your legs aren’t already straight, don’t try adding this in. Don’t ever force yourself. Let your muscles and tissues grow and change over months and years.” This morning’s yoga class felt a little different. It was very slow and mild with an emphasis on finding the edge and then not pushing it. A little…
A different New Year’s suggestion
Hello again friends, happy new year to you! Have you made any resolutions this year? Maybe set some 2022 goals? I haven’t. And not because I think resolutions are bad. I don’t think they’re bad, I don’t think I’m better than you for not falling for them, and I bet I’ll make some again one…
Happy Thanksgiving 2019!
Happy Thanksgiving 2019! Last year I wrote that I thought that year was the oddest year of my life. I was wrong. This year. 100%. Odd isn’t bad, though. I have a lot to be thankful for. There’s all the usual, but there are some things I’m especially, newly thankful for this year. An odd…
Put the shampoo bottle down
Do you remember having to take naps as a kid? Being forced to just lay there in silence for hours! Okay, probably like 30 minutes, but it felt like eternity. Do you remember the sound that silence made after a while? Like a wave or white noise machine, that deafening, on-going whoosh type noise. Almost as if you…
I have anxiety and that’s okay
I have anxiety. Some days I am in the zone, killing it. I am a manager and I’m good at it. I am great at sales and customer service. I am great at leading projects. I am the president of a Toastmasters club and I think I’m a good leader. I am a really good…
The magic of conversation
How many unsaid things do you have simmering inside of you? Saying things out loud helps in so many ways. It helps us think through things, solidify things, feel things, get over things. Sometimes just letting out a frustration makes it stop hurting, or putting an anxiety into words suddenly reveals its harmlessness. Many of…
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