Your imperfect help
It’s like seeing the Grand Canyon for the first time. You look over the edge, and it goes . . . down . . . and down . . . and it just keeps going. You try to follow it across to the other side, and there is just too much. It’s . . .…
What about your own oxygen mask?
I write. That is what I do. All the time. Sometimes I hear from a friend, or someone I don’t know at all, that my words made a difference for them–made them feel understood, not alone, inspired them. And that is why I write. When I write, life makes more sense to me, and I…
Urgent vs important
Can you imagine the feeling, finishing up a task, sitting back, and thinking to yourself, “Hmm… I literally have nothing left to do today!” That would be really weird, right??? Life just needs to slow down. Right? But I have a hundred things to do today. So much to catch up on. So much to…
Observation Point, Zion National Park
Last month my wife and her sister and I drove 5000 miles around the western States. We experienced some incredible things. California’s redwoods, the great Grand Canyon, Painted Hills, The Loneliest Road in America, a Ghost Forest off the Oregon coast, and the beautiful paradise of Zion National Park. Oh, and a shocking low flyover…
From 1 to 92
and so I’m offering this simple phrase to kids from one to ninety-twoThe Christmas Song One of my earliest vivid memories, marked by the musty smell of old books in the college library: Two fellow professors stopped my dad and struck up a conversation. They held their briefcases and said big sentences to each other…
When it feels like too much
A soft, fuzzy mommy with no food. Or a wire mommy with food. Which would you pick? In a 1958 experiment by the scientist Harry Harlow, baby monkeys gravitated heavily toward the soft, fuzzy mommy with no food. Comfort and security mattered the most. Like even more than dinner. And not much matters more than…
Loneliness, stillness, and a North Shore adventure
It’s good to just go sometimes. Adventure is always within reach. The earth is bigger than your stress. Nature is cleansing. You’re allowed to take care of yourself. “Ever more people today have the means to live, but no meaning to live for.” ~ Viktor Frankl “With shortness of breathYou explained the infiniteAnd how rare…
Endless Options and the Hopelessness of Getting it Right
Schitt’s Creek . . . The Great British Baking Show . . . Peaky Blinders . . . El Camino . . . Surf’s Up . . . Ancient Aliens . . . Mary Poppins Returns . . . You’re going to watch Netflix. Easy decision. Which show? Not so easy. How much time, on…
Before you break down
You hit a wall, so you start doing “self-care.” Quiet time, journaling, fresh air, running, couch time, cookies, lots of bed, therapy, warm baths, PTO days, sharing your sadness with a friend. . . . It becomes a top priority in your schedule because it has to, because you’re breaking down. Are you allowed to…
8 Strategies for When You’re WAY TOO BUSY
Do you remember the busiest month of your life? A time where you over-committed yourself for a few weeks? Maybe it was a project at work, too many classes in school, a bunch of events–or a mixture of everything. A time when you felt like every day you just woke up, immediately hit the gas…
Your disappearing place
Where is your disappearing place? What place makes you remember your freedom, your self, your own breath? Where can you truly feel “away from it all” for a soul-filling minute?
Slowly but surely
Life happens slowly. Painfully slowly. Today I feel like I’ll never have the things I want. And lots of voices tell me I should or could already have them, and make me feel even worse. (#socialmedia) But things take time and money and hard, hard work. And patience. And perspective. When I look back at…
6 Steps to Stay on Track When You’re Discouraged
I’ve been struggling with some personal things lately. Just some discouragements I’ve had to work through. Sometimes when you’re discouraged, it’s easy to lose sight of where you want to go–to doubt you’ll get there. And when you’re not fully expecting to get somewhere in the future, it’s not easy to discipline yourself to do…
It always works out*
*Okay, life doesn’t always work out. Sometimes there’s just something truly tragic. But I’d venture to say that 95% of the time we think that life has taken such a bad turn that things just won’t work out–we end up being wrong. Try taking an inventory of your own experiences. They usually worked out–didn’t they?…
You vs You-with
A scientific study published in 1999 examined how we are affected by listening to others’ opinions about us: First, Asian women were given a math test to do after reminders of the negative stereotype that women are bad at math. Later, Asian women were given a math test to do after reminders of the positive…
Our Blindspot
At a public speaking contest I led last week, I got to ask several people to give impromptu speeches to answer a question. They all got the same question. And I got to pick it! I consider myself a very positive person. But I have to admit, I have a little cynical streak. Just a…
Letting
How often do you stop struggling for a minute? We’re halfway through 2020. What have you learned so far about just sitting with things that just ARE, no matter whether you’d like them to be or not? Can you show up for the reality you’re actually in? Stop and breathe for a minute.
Put the shampoo bottle down
Do you remember having to take naps as a kid? Being forced to just lay there in silence for hours! Okay, probably like 30 minutes, but it felt like eternity. Do you remember the sound that silence made after a while? Like a wave or white noise machine, that deafening, on-going whoosh type noise. Almost as if you…
Uncertainty
“The oldest and strongest emotion of mankind is fear, and the oldest and strongest kind of fear is fear of the unknown.” – H. P. Lovecraft “Change.” It’s so hard that there are books and seminars and coaches all dedicated to helping people with “change management.” It’s also 100% inevitable. Why is it that when…
Everything else
There are always 2 categories: What you’re focusing on right now Everything else Category #1 always looks bigger and seems to matter more. But category #2 will always be bigger, and there are almost always lots of things in category #2 that matter a lot more. When you’re focused on a stress at work,…
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