my favorites

Letting the waves do their thing

Think back. Remember vulnerable-you. At your weakest, your most drained, your most crushed. What did it? “Trauma” is a universal experience. Your life may not have been dominated by it, but you’ve had your days. Younger me found refuge in my bedroom closet. I’d spend hours in there. It felt a little safer. Have you…

If I could send a message to 18-year-old me

Do you ever imagine what you’d say to younger-you if you had the chance? Life is really wonderful and beautiful and full of magic and excitement and love. But life is also weird for each one of us, sometimes a really tough kind of weird. The kind of weird that can make you feel lonely…

We made that up

How are you doing? Are you exhausted? Like deep in your soul, exhausted? I have some thoughts. We made up that you have to text someone back. We made up that you’re supposed to be positive all the time. We made up that you’re supposed to eat three meals a day. We made up that…

You may be the lighthouse they need

Have you seen Big Hero 6? If not, spoiler alert: So . . . Disney knows how to give us feelings. Oh man. To kick off the movie, the big brother runs into the burning building because he thinks someone is trapped inside it. And in a sudden explosion, he dies. Because that’s what happens…

Happy Thanksgiving 2019!

Happy Thanksgiving 2019! Last year I wrote that I thought that year was the oddest year of my life. I was wrong. This year. 100%. Odd isn’t bad, though. I have a lot to be thankful for. There’s all the usual, but there are some things I’m especially, newly thankful for this year. An odd…

Sad People

“Eeyore, the old grey Donkey, stood by the side of the stream, and looked at himself in the water.’Pathetic,’ he said. ‘That’s what it is. Pathetic.’He turned and walked slowly down the stream for twenty yards, splashed across it, and walked slowly back on the other side. Then he looked at himself in the water…

Love is it.

It’s a new year, and I’m sitting at a coffee shop thinking about what I want to do as a writer this year. I want to grow. I want to get better at writing. I want to make more of an impact. I want to take it seriously. I want to chase the dreams I…

I have anxiety and that’s okay

I have anxiety. Some days I am in the zone, killing it. I am a manager and I’m good at it. I am great at sales and customer service. I am great at leading projects. I am the president of a Toastmasters club and I think I’m a good leader. I am a really good…

Your imperfect help

It’s like seeing the Grand Canyon for the first time. You look over the edge, and it goes . . . down . . . and down . . . and it just keeps going. You try to follow it across to the other side, and there is just too much. It’s . . .…

Can you love humans AND cut people off?

How do you feel about these two “truths?” Deep down, everyone is just human, with their insecurities and feelings, needing love and, as a human, no matter how broken, worthy of love.Some people are toxic, narcissistic, cruel, and unloving, and permanently ending your relationship with them is the healthiest choice. I bet most of us…

Baby steps and struggly downward dogs

“If your legs aren’t already straight, don’t try adding this in. Don’t ever force yourself. Let your muscles and tissues grow and change over months and years.” This morning’s yoga class felt a little different. It was very slow and mild with an emphasis on finding the edge and then not pushing it. A little…

Hiding

Sometimes the things you’re afraid to let people see because you think they’ll judge you end up being the very things they really love about you.

My Little Broken Buddha

My best friend gave me a little figurine of a meditating Buddha. Its head was still on. I meditate and I really like Buddhism. In a nutshell to me, it’s about letting go of our need for things to be just-so. Our first big excursion to the mountains since my last concussion, a long road…

The problem with growing up

I feel compelled to be grown up all the way. But the problem is I get really happy every time I look down and see my blue sneakers with their yellow-green laces.

Death

To my friend Peter F.You’re one of the tenderest souls the world has known.Be at peace.~ Death is yucky. It’s been on my mind this year. A lot. One of my first, best work-buddies died suddenly the other day. His name was Peter, too, and we used to set up a cup across the room…

A different New Year’s suggestion

Hello again friends, happy new year to you! Have you made any resolutions this year? Maybe set some 2022 goals? I haven’t. And not because I think resolutions are bad. I don’t think they’re bad, I don’t think I’m better than you for not falling for them, and I bet I’ll make some again one…

Does today count?

Does today need a certain quality, a certain worthwhileness, before it really counts? You know the days that count. When you trekked the windy miles to that mountain peak. When you started that job you’d been studying for and searching for since you were 20. When you cheers’d a glass of wine over a fancy…

Willoughwaves

Waddling’s the word for the way Willoughby walked. Willoughwaddles. He was an old man when we adopted him. But as slowly and arthritically as he moved 95% of the time, he was still ready for an occasional mad dash when we played hide and seek, or to stand his ground like the Rock of Gibraltar…

What we got wrong about love

I don’t remember what game we were playing, or what this little boy was having a tough time with, but I remember like it was yesterday watching his father get more and more frustrated, eventually losing his temper and snapping at his sweet little boy. They were on a team and they were losing and…

In your closest relationships, is the real you even there?

Driving home the other day, something struck me while I was listening to Nora McInerny’s (amazing) podcast (that you should listen to) Terrible, Thanks For Asking. In an episode called Don’t You Want Somebody to Take Care of You?, a woman named Gina recalled growing up with a depressed mother. Each morning her mom would…

I hope that you will be gentle with yourself

Imagine you’re holding the hand of a little child, seeing tears brim in their eyes. Frustrated. Embarrassed. Not good enough. How delicately will you hold that child’s heart in your hands? What will you say? How gentle will you be with their sensitive little heart? This child needs love and support. You would be gentle…

Authentic, but like right now

I always armed the alarm system at night. If someone beat me to it, I’d find some need to go grab something from the garage or step outside so that I could re-arm it when I came back in. Arming it took a minute, because we had to bypass a few upstairs bedroom windows so…